In Which Zadie Catches Everyone Up and the Summer is Finally More Bearable

Before I really say anything...  Yes.  I realize it has been a long, long time since my last post.  My apologies.

"In Which Zadie Catches Everyone Up"

The first month of my summer vacation wasn't that blog worthy.  I didn't really do anything at all besides read some books and watch some movies.  Basically, I was a hermit.  Leaving school was hard and trying to readjust to home life was even harder during those first few weeks.  Part of me is still trying to adjust even though it's been over five weeks now.  At first I thought it was taking a super long time, but then I think back to my first couple months at school and I remember that adjusting to college took all of August, September, and part of October.

The most confusing part is coming back as a changed girl to a town that probably hasn't done anything different in the past decade.  Okay, maybe it's not that drastic, but it gets my point across.  Nothing in Modesto, California has changed since I left in August.  The traffic on McHenry is as bad as ever.  The young, attractive dude--who looks like he could have been a One Direction band member--still works at the Target across the street and all the teenage girls still line up at his register.  My old dance studio still holds its annual summer recital in the park.  Our neighbor, Miss Marion, can still be found relaxing on her porch in the afternoons.  Even in the house, my family is just the same as they always have been.  Harrison and Sarah Beth are both busy with their studies, piano lessons, hockey tourneys, and dance classes.  My mom is amazing when it comes to raising them.  My Dad and Aunt Donna come and go from work at the same exact times they always have since I was little.  Nothing has changed.

It makes it hard for me to fit in sometimes.  I did a lot of maturing this year, since March especially.  So much has happened in my life and it's changed parts of me.  Sure, I'm still Zadie, who grew up somewhere between Ripon and Modesto, spent her high school years training as a dancer, and found some joy in stories.  At the same time, that girl really grew up in Mississippi around new people who I can't imagine not having in my life.  In a lot of ways... I simply outgrew Modesto.  

It's like finding an old T-shirt.  One that you absolutely loved as a kid.  You pull it out of the back of your drawer, out from under all of these new favorite clothes that you've collected.  Looking at that old shirt, you remember all of the times you wore it and all the memories attached to it.  But when you try to slip it over your head, it's too small.  It just doesn't fit right anymore.  That's what it's like.  

However, the last couple weeks have gotten better.  I started going out more, volunteered to help out a local homeschool group with teaching some classes, writing a few poems and non-fictions, skyping friends from school, stuff like that.  It's helped. 

Then there was last week.  Harry and Sarah Beth had this gathering for their school, Veritas Press, called the End of the Year Gathering (original, I know).  In a nut shell, all the online students gather in Lancaster, Pennsylvania for the chance to see each other and their teachers face to face while doing all these crazy activities.  It's a pretty great idea, in my opinion.  I completed most of my high school education through online classes--namely Artesian Wells, Schola Tutorials, Belhaven High Scholars, and Veritas Press (Yeah, I jumped around a bit...)--and I wish my friends and I had been given the chance to meet one another.  So this EotYG thing is a wonderful time for the students.  And a lot of really cool things happened as well!  Harry and Sarah Beth were both elected as presidents of their respective classes, Harry is a Highest Honors student, both of them performed in a talent show and did spectacularly, plus the students got to participate in dances, rock climbing, game nights, parties, and a whole bunch of other fun things.  It was enjoyable just watching them run around.  I also made a friend, Sarah D.  She's pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.  

After five days at the Gathering, we road-tripped from Pennsylvania down to Gadsden, Alabama.  The next leg of our journey involved visiting with my Nana, my mom's mom.  We just recently found out that she has cancer pretty badly, so we want to take advantage of every opportunity to see her.  We spent Monday and Tuesday with Nana, my Aunt Beth, and her son Elijah.  It was a lovely time, although I had forgotten how hot the South could get in the summer... ugh.  Even so, it was good to see everyone again.  We'll be making trips over there more frequently over the next year when we can, at least every few months.  

Then came Wednesday.  

"The Summer is Finally More Bearable"

Wednesday was the start of the good times I had been waiting for since the beginning of May.  Our flight back to Cali was not out of Alabama, like I expected, but out of Nashville, Tennessee.  When I discovered this, I took the opportunity to contact Michael and see if it was possible to hang out for a while.  Our plans slowly began to solidify and after a three hour drive for both of us, we ended up in an outdoor mall just outside of Nashville.  Seeing Michael was fantastic.  We got to have lunch with him and his mother, and then he and I explored Barnes and Noble for a while, as well as catch up with each other.  It really was wonderful.  I didn't fully realize how much I had missed Michael until we were hanging out.  I only wish it could have been longer.  The afternoon ended almost as soon as it had begun...  But there's only two more months until we'll meet up at Belhaven again.  That's not so bad, right?

That evening my family and I flew back to California, and the next day Trianne came over for the weekend.  Originally, we just wanted to be able to see the midnight premier of The Fault in Our Stars together, but it turned into a three day visit (she just left today).  It was great to be able to hang out with someone for that length of time, especially my future roommate!  The perks of having a roommate who lives in Fresno!  Sure, there's a two hour drive between us, but it's close enough!  

Thursday night, we saw the Fault in Our Stars.  I recommend it to all of you.  Yes, it's a romance, but it was done beautifully and I loved it.  For most of you who know how I feel about romance movies, take heed (and for those of you who don't, I usually can't stand that genre).  I did love it.  That should tell you how good The Fault in Our Stars is.  Also, while we were at the theater, we came across Erikka and Amy (two girls I danced with at Central West).  That just made the night even more fun, because I had the opportunity to catch up with them as well.  

Friday was a fun day.  Trianne and I went to Modesto's mall, explored some shops, and tried on many obnoxious prom dresses.  I'm not exaggerating that, some of the dresses were absolutely... just... obnoxious.  I tried on one that looked like a cotton candy unicorn.  No, I don't have any pictures.  You'll have to try and imagine that for yourselves.  Needless to say, we had a goofy but super fun time.  After that, the two of us skyped with the lovely Kristine.  Then, to top the night off, we attended Sarah Beth's dance recital in the park.  Unfortunately, Saturday, today really, came much too quickly.  But all in all, our time together was awesome and much needed.

And that is my life up to date.  Being able to see two of my best friends within the past few days has been amazing and will hopefully help with getting through the rest of the summer.


Really, the only thing that is left to add is my upcoming birthday.  I shall turn 20 on Monday!  I'm in shock...  20.  Twenty.  Two decades.  A score.  It seems a bit crazy.  I don't know if I'll be doing anything for my birthday yet, I may just spend the day trying to accept the fact that I'll be that old.  Oh well.  Being a teenager was pretty awesome, I have to say.  Can't wait to see what my life becomes!

Finally, music!  First we have Wings by Birdy.  Birdy has very quickly become one of my favorite artists.  Just before school ended, Michael introduced me to a couple of her songs, and since then I've been listening to them a ton.  All of her music is soothing and beautiful.  The lyrics and composition of Wings is probably the best in my opinion though.
Also, I have Best Day of My Life by American Authors, which was on a CD that Kerry gave some of us before he left school.  Whenever I listen to it, I think about all the great times I had over the past year.  So yes, also a great song.

Hopefully I will have more to blog about soon!
Until then, my friends.  Farewell.  ^_^

The Horrible, the Dreaded, the End of the Semester Blues

Whelp.  We've almost made it.  We are almost to the end of the semester, and the end of freshmen year.

People told me that college would fly by, but I never expected it to go this quickly.

Basically, we have four more days of actual school, and then we have Friday through Monday for Easter break.  Then finals are the 22nd through the end of the week.  Then we leave.  I'm leaving May 1st, so I'll be back home in California is three weeks.

Three weeks.

As much as I can't wait to go home and see my family again... I'm reluctant to leave Belhaven.  In the past eight months, this place has become my home.  I love life here.  Once I'm back home, I won't be with my people for over three months.  The thought of that is kind of depressing.

At the same time, I think it will be good to be back in Cali once again.  I will admit, I miss my family, Ripon's orchards, real food, the ability to go places whenever I want, my own bedroom, and San Francisco.  I didn't even go to San Francisco that much when I lived in Cali, and somehow that's been one of the places I miss most.  (I'm wondering if the only reason I miss San Fran is because I'll be seeing Neil Gaiman there in June... that would certainly make sense.  And yes, I am seeing Neil Gaiman.  EEP!)

Back to the main topic though, the end of the semester.  It's a great feeling, knowing that you're almost done.  However, there's the small issue of all the homework that needs to be completed.  Fortunately, it's not that bad.  I need to write a few stories for creative writing, finish some math assignments, and an Old Testament paper, and that's about it.  Not too much, but it's enough to get in the way of free time.  As it stands, I should probably be writing a fairy tale right now instead of blogging.... but......... whatever.  It can wait a little longer. 

Also, a bit of a funny story.  I ordered a package a package the other day because I needed some things before the end of the semester.  Apparently I entered the wrong zip code...  So instead of my package arriving on schedule at Belhaven, I was notified that it arrived in a place called Armona, California.  I've never even heard of this place before, and that's where the package went?  So after a few phone calls, internet research, and pulling my dad in for reinforcements, we discovered that this is a common problem for Armona, CA.  According to their people, they are constantly receiving packages with wrong addresses.  I was feeling alright about this, thinking they could probably fix the problem and send my package back to me.  That's when we discovered fact #2 about Armona.  It is also considered the Bermuda Triangle of packages. This is exactly what sound went through my mind when I found out.  Moral of the story: KNOW YOUR ZIP CODE, YOUR LIFE COULD DEPEND ON IT.  Well, maybe not your life, but usually this is important stuff.

And now: Music.  I don't know why this has become a reoccurring thing for my blog... when I first started writing, I didn't set out with the idea that I would post songs, but that's what ended up happening.  Music has become a big part of my life, I suppose, and I just want to share it with everyone else because it's so dang beautiful!
So this is an Owl City week for me.  The first song I'll mention is Meteor Shower.  It's a short song, but it's sweet.  The lyrics are, "I can finally see that You're right there beside me.  I am not my own, for I have been made new.  Please don't let me go, I desperately need you."  That's it.  In my opinion, it's the songs like this that are Adam Young's best.  The song is so simple, yet holds so much truth.
The second is a single that he just released this week (featuring the amazing Lindsey Stirling), Beautiful Times.  I think my favorite part is the second half of the chorus.  "This fight of my life is so hard, but I'm gonna survive.  These are beautiful times."  

Farewell, lovely people!

Keep Calm and Carry On

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant." ~The Doctor

So I haven't blogged in a while.  Rather, I've started and abandoned several posts.  

Truth is, a lot of stuff has been going down in my life this month.  I keep thinking about everything and, I kid you not, things started getting crazy an hour after my last post here.  From that moment on, things really haven't settled down.

The first thing that happened was my decision to become a Creative Writing/English double major.  Yup.  So long dance minor, hello added English major.  Honestly, I am stoked for this!  I can't wait to start all of my classes in the fall (I'll be studying Faulkner, Shakespeare, Romantic British Literature, and writing Creative Non-fiction and Script).  My schedule will be packed with classes for the next three years, but it's going to be fantastic!  Besides, I'm not going it alone.  I'll have four other lovely people right with me in the double major.

Then came spring break. Sara, Trianne, and I stayed the week at Erica's house and had a fantastic time watching movies, listening to music, lounging on the beach, and chilling in the forests of Alabama.  Michael, Kerry, and Nathan joined us for Thursday through Saturday, which added to our grand old time (it mostly involved exploring an art fair in Fairhope, reading books, sitting around campfires while reading books, being awoken from a nap and nearly falling out of a tree house--not one of my finer moments--late night walks on the beach, and more reading).  After spending nearly two months straight in school without much of a break, the week off was much needed.  The best part of the break was being able to strengthen my relationships with these people.  I had several opportunities to talk with some of them one on one, and I feel like I've come away with a deeper understanding of who they are.
However, the break wasn't all fun and games.  That Thursday, I received a call from my mom, informing me of my grandmother's death.  Even though we had seen this coming for months, the shock was still hard to handle.  Right before I left for spring break, she had maybe three to four weeks left, and then it ended much more suddenly than we expected.
The following week was hard.  Being away from home made grieving difficult.  I've come to realize that this is the most challenging part of college: being so removed from home.  Anything could happen and I wouldn't necessarily know about it.
Beauty from pain though.  I've grown through the experience.  I have the hope that my grandmother is resting in Heaven.  And, through her death, I am praying fervently that my family members who don't know Christ will be drawn to Him.

The week after my grandmother's passing was rough because of a massive homework load.  But I got my very own published children's book out of it!  In my Children's lit. class, our assignment was to create an alphabet book that we wanted to have printed.  I wrote and illustrated an ABC book on animals, and then proceeded to base each animal off one of my friends here at school.  I should be receiving it in the mail sometime this week.  As soon as I do, I will post pictures.  Allow me to show some of it off:

As a bit of an explanation, Trianne is the Giraffe, Crockett is the Koala, I am the mouse, and Michael is the owl.  There are more, but I'm not going to put them all in here.  I'll definitely post more about it the moment it arrives.  Sorry, not sorry.

What I've written about is only a portion of what's been going on, but I'm rather cautious about what I put on the internet.  Just know that crazy things have been taking place; good, bad, and fantastic things.  

And this pretty much catches you up to the present.  Currently, I'm sitting on my bed with a cup of tea and a terrible cold (the craziness continues...).  However, despite my random illness, I am going out to the ballet tonight!  Yes, I finally have the opportunity to see Ballet Magnificat! perform tonight!  You would think that living in the same town they are based in would make it easier to see them, but apparently that isn't how it works.  Anyhoo, they're performing Deliver Us tonight, which is my absolute favorite ballet on the face of the planet.  

Now that we have come to close of my update, I shall post random songs as I seem to have a habit of doing lately.  I've heard a lot of good music over the past month (thank you friends with awesome taste in music), so there are a few this time.
The first is a mashup of Radioactive and My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark by Imagine Dragons and Fall Out Boy, respectively.  It's called Radioactive in the Dark.  Original, I know.  (btw, the links will most likely lead to my tumblr, since it's easier than youtube.)  I love this particular mashup, you should totally listen to it.
The second is one of my absolute favorite songs.  All About Us by Owl City and He Is We.  Seriously, this song is adorable.
Another mashup, Let It Go/Let Her Go by Sam Tsui is gorgeous!  I almost love it more than the original from Frozen.
I'm not sure if I've gone crazy or not, but I actually found a One Direction song that I like.  It's called Over Again, and it isn't half bad.  I think the reason I like it is because it gives off an Ed Sheeran vibe.  (don't judge)
The Unicorn Invasion of Dundee by Gloryhammer.  It's exactly what it sounds like.  It's a heavy metal song about a fantasy world being invaded by an army of undead unicorns.  I didn't know music like this existed... (I'm totally blaming Michael for this one and all other heavy metal, gothic bands.)
Finally, I present The Truth Beneath the Rose by Within Temptation.  Within Temptation is a gothic band very similar to Nightwish, only a lot better in my opinion.  I've recently become a fan of them.  So far, I haven't come across a song that I don't like.

...And this is why I shouldn't wait nearly a month before blogging.  There's way too much to catch up on.  (I never expected to post this much music either.  Whoops.)

I promise I won't wait this long again!  Until next time, I bid you all a fond farewell!

All You Need Is...

The Beatles said love, which is true in a lot of cases.  In a way, what I'm going to say relates to love.

Community.

If there's one thing I have discovered since being at college, it's that community will be one of the most important things you can possibly have.  Face it, being away from the home you grew up in for 18 years (or 19, in my case) is a bizarre, new experience.  One of the only ways you're going to survive (beyond relying heavily on the Lord) is having a community of friends who will look out for you.  God has blessed me by placing me in a group like that.

Valentine's Day was really where I started to see what I had been given.  Without any of the girls' knowledge, the boys of our group put together a fantastic spread of sweets, goodies, and flowers, and presented it to us at the park that night.  It was the most beautiful gift I've ever experienced.

The next night was the performance for Belhaven's Dance Ministry.  That morning, a bunch of my friends had said they wanted to come see, but I was unable to get tickets for them.  To my surprise (and utter joy) they came anyway and stood in line for an hour to ensure they would get in.  It may seem like a little thing for people to come to a dance performance, but it means the world to me.  

There are all the nights we spend at the local park and wandering about campus.  Some of my favorite moments are when we sit around under the night sky, telling stories, singing, and just relaxing.  During times like this, school and homework don't exist and we have the freedom to do whatever we want.

Then of course there are bad days.  A couple weeks ago, the stress of several projects was starting to wear me out.  These are the times when a community is most important, because I'm sure I wasn't a great person to be around at that time, yet they were still there for me.  With their help, I eventually got out of whatever funk I was in that day.  

And of course, all the random food trips we make.  (Not going to lie here... cafeteria food is everything people say it is.  Not good.  At all.  Abort.  No.  Every once in a while, we get a good meal when there are perspective students.  But otherwise...... just no.)  Taco Bell is a wonderful place.  It is entirely possible to eat tacos for dinner multiple days in a row.

Of course, we aren't perfect.  There will always be drama.  However, the sign of a really great group is if you can work together to get past the drama.  It's hard, but I've found that it only brings us closer together.  

Like I said, community.  Get one.  These are the people who will be with you every step of the way, from late night television binges, to last minute studying for tests, to listening to jazz or electric swing music, helping you with projects, to praying for you when you need it most.  I couldn't have asked for a better place to be.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken." ~Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Song of this post, since it goes really well with my theme, is Hey Brother by Avicii.  This is seriously one of my favorite songs, just because of the truth behind it.  And I feel like it fits my friends here.  

Love you all!  

Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?

IT SNOWED!!! I REPEAT, IT SNOWED!!!

It pretty much snowed all day Tuesday, and the ice stuck around until early Friday morning.  The result?  A snow day Tuesday and Wednesday morning!  I realize that most people are accustomed to snow days and wouldn't find them all that exciting.  However, I am not most people.  I grew up in California.  I was homeschooled.  Between those two facts, snow days didn't exist.  UNTIL NOW.  So I would say my first snow day was quite successful.  

(Side note: A snow day in MS occurs when we get a light dusting of snow.  It's not overly impressive, but still.  Snow.)

Sara, Michael, myself, and Nicole.  Just chilling.  ;)

Also last week, I had the opportunity to perform with Belhaven's Dance Ministry team a few times!  Since the season began last semester, I have not been out with them during their tours.  But finally I was cast to go with them.  The first time we danced for a children's home and the second time was at a home for handicapped adults.  The latter was so, so amazing.  ^_^  After the performance we talked with the residents and they had their own little dance off for us.  After experiencing this, I wish that I had been asked to go with the company on their previous tours.  The opportunity to minister to others encourages both parties involved. 

One of the side effects of college is, naturally, staying up until the wee hours of the morn.  This is a skill I have come to master quite well.  Several of us have taken to hanging out in our student center until at least midnight for the past month.  You'd think this would get tiring, but actually it's pretty awesome.  Most of the time it's only four of us though.  (The same four in the picture above too, coincidentally.)  We call ourselves *ahem*.... The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  *dundunduuuuuuun*  I, Zadie, am Death.  Michael is War.  Sara is Pestilence.  And Nicole is Famine.  However, we aren't all skeletons and depressing thoughts, but more of the refined and regal side of the Horsemen.  Some crazy stuff tends to happen on these nights... scaring contests, late night tv binges, barricade building, and laughing, lots of laughing.  Simply put, we have fun.  

And now, I leave you with two random songs that I can't seem to stop singing lately.

The first is Somewhere in Neverland by All Time Low.  Sara and Kristine introduced me to it, never turning back.

The second is Farther Along by Josh Garrels.  I learned a dance to this song in my modern class last semester, and I do believe it's one of my absolute favorite songs.  It's definitely a song that speaks truth.  

Well then.  Until the next time, my friends.  ^_^  

Farewell.

New Beginnings

Let's face it.  It's been a long time.  Whoops.

But this doesn't mean I can't start blogging again.  So I shall.  Ha.

I've been thinking about posting for a few weeks now, but I never sat down to actually do it.  Then a few of my friends started blogging and I thought I'd give into the invisible peer pressure and write a post (and actually try to keep up this time).  

College is cool, people!  Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.  Being at Belhaven University is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me.  I think I finally broke out of my shell and found a place where I belong.  Life as a Creative Writing major/Dance minor is spectacular.  Yes, I switched my studies around.  While dance is nice, I found a better passion.  Much, much better.  And I've got the greatest pack of people surrounding me.  I don't know where I'd be without Karis, Christian, Sara, Michael, Josh, Connor, Kerry, Kristine, Erica, April, Crockett, Krista, Nicole, Kalisse, Trianne, Catherine, Morgan, and Adam, and that's only a portion of the people I consider family.  I never knew that so many people from so many different backgrounds could mesh together so well.  I guess one thing that tends to help is that all of us are completely insane.  Really.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Last semester presented a drastic change in my life.  I went from being the sheltered homeschooler to a full-fledged college student out in the world and far, far away from home.  The first month was bizarre.  I spent most of my time trying to adjust to a different life and throwing myself into my studies.  Sometime halfway through the semester, I found myself actually enjoying life on this end and creating new relationships.  By the end of 2013, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.  And now: 2014.  I'm used to classrooms, social life, cafeteria meals, late nights, and really crazy weather.  This is my life, my new beginning.

Here I am. This is Me.

Yes.